I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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