Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I want is dick and wine.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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