You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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