i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
