Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize