I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
