I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
