my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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