yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
