Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
