Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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