I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
