there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
