So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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