No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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