do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
