Small penises have feelings too.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
