when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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