Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
