She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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