I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
