awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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