I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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