fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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