I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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