nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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