DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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