It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
