i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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