We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
