Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
