When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
