So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
