my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize