i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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