Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
