my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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