He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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