I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
