Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
