girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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