Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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