why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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