Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
