I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
