Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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