that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
