Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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