Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
