he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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