stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dick very happy bro
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
