she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize