yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize