i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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