Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You may now shotgun with the bride
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
