i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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