he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
