Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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