at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
