they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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